My Breastfeeding Journey: The Beginning

I have often wanted to share why I started breastfeeding, especially within the scope of my blog, because it is one of the most pivotal decisions of my life and I am pretty sure it is what has defined me more fully than any other thing I have ever done and led me down paths I never thought I would trek.

So why haven't I, you wonder?
Well...

Because I am pretty scared everyone will think I'm a nut.

But here goes...

I was 8 months pregnant with my first son. Die hard "I am NOT going to breastfeed. I think that's great and all, but I do not want to. Thanks." I didn't want something eating from me. No thanks. Those bad boys are mine alone. (If only I knew...)

As I stood there in the shower, this stuff started coming out. I learned later it was colostrum (that magical amazing stuff that my body makes to protect my baby). I was fascinated. For a couple of days I examined how my body was changing.

And then I heard the still, small voice:

You were made to do this.

 

 

There aren't a lot of times I can say with certainty that God called me to something, but I have a few. This was one of those few. My sweet Savior, in His infinite wisdom and in His sweet love for me, called me to breastfeed.

Oh boy, am I ever thankful. I have a lot of reasons I am thankful for breastfeeding, and I will get to those in future posts, but my number one reason I am thankful that I was called to breastfeed is simple:

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would be successful.



So I grabbed a book that had the mindset that I believe God impressed in my mind (that's another post too), and I soaked up what I thought was all the information I would need.

You would be surprised at how the world has screwed all this up. And my journey would have been messed up too, like thousands of other women who believe with all their heart that their body just couldn't provide for their child because someone with credentials gave them extremely bad advice in those early days and then basically told them they were broken. But with my call from God, I knew there was more. And for that, I will be eternally grateful.





Disclaimer: There are some circumstances where a woman cannot nurse her child (but this is much rarer than you find here in America).  I know this is a huge debate because so many women tried so hard only to have to supplement and eventually stop breastfeeding to provide enough nourishment for their babies. This is an emotional topic for many, and my heart breaks for those sweet women. My main goal, through the posts I will share on breastfeeding is to encourage women who wish to breastfeed as they begin and continue their journeys. Information is power. Support is power. I have learned quite a bit since I decided to breastfeed, but I still have to sometimes remind myself of my call when some kink shows up. I hope that the information I share can empower and encourage.

*If you are in need of support, contact your local La Leche League or find a lactation consultant. Try and find a nursing mom's support group in your area. These steps can make a HUGE difference in your journey.




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Things I Am Glad I Taught My Son

I will be the first to say that my oldest son is a special kid completely, 100% on his own. He has the most sensitive heart for people that I have ever seen. He is intelligent beyond what I can comprehend. He is overall just amazing.

But I also see that I got a couple things right. And I think that it is important to share things that made a difference for us so it might can make a difference for someone else.

1. We only said "NO" by accident. It wasn't a word that my son really knew until we started Baby Signing Time. What we did say helps us almost every single day. When Austin would start exploring things that we didn't want him to be touching, we would say "Not for Austin." As a younger baby, if he was putting something in his mouth that didn't belong, we would say "Not for your mouth." You might think that this is much like saying "no," but I do not agree. I think what we said was more specific and more easily understood. After we had our second son, we had occassion to say that things were not for Landon, and Austin easily understood that he didn't need to give whatever it was to his brother. "Not for {insert your child's name here}" can be your go to phrase in all types of environments with consistent use and follow through.

2. We taught him what "dirty" meant in the context of touching things. There are some times when the items that Austin wants really are made for him (ex...toys in the sick room of a doctor's office). I try my hardest to eliminate future confusion by avoiding double standards. The toy in the sick room that is also available to Austin in HIS room are different. One is for Austin and one is not, but kids don't always understand the difference. So in the one time we did have to take him to the "sick side" I told him that he had to sit in Daddy's lap because the things in that room were "dirty." This probably wouldn't work so much if he liked getting dirty, but he isn't much for dirt. He always repeats that they are dirty, signing away, and then doesn't even try to get them. If your kid likes dirt, you might want to find another way to express it, but recognize where confusion might lie.

3. Way before we knew about signing, we taught tiny Austin how to point to what he wanted. He tried, just like every other kid I have ever seen, to yell to get what he wanted. We like going out in public, and this behavior just wasn't going to work for us, so we would whisper to him, "if you want something you have to lower your voice and point." It didn't take long to get him to go about things the way we wanted. Getting louder and louder didn't get him what he wanted, but he wasn't ignored either. There is middle ground that I rarely see in public, but we found it. I always enjoy seeing a furrowed brow because an elderly couple is seated beside "the baby/toddler" only to have them stop by on their way out to say how wonderful Austin is. This may be the one thing that I know for certain was mine and my husband's doing, but it is a biggie. That doesn't mean that he never "forgets." We just have to remind him that we (and our expectations) haven't changed.

I am not an expert on parenting...far from it. All I know for certain is that I have wonderful kids that are well behaved (most of the time). I think a lot of it comes from their security from my nursing, and a lot of it comes from consistent training. I can remember a couple weeks there where I was sure that what I was doing was not working, but it turned out that I just had a stubborn kid on my hands (I wonder where he got that from). Eventually it clicked, and life got easier. I put the hard work in at home so it looks peachy in public. And it does get easier at home too, thank God.

No matter if you feel your kid would or wouldn't be helped by this post, remember the best parenting advice that you could ever be given is as follows:

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ~James 1:5

A Battle Within

I received my letter of acceptance to New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary today. I never really questioned whether I would get in; I am a little prideful when it comes to my previous academic success. But I have to say when the tiny envelope showed up amongst the junk mail, I snatched it up eagerly to see if it was an acceptance letter, secretly thinking to myself "thin letter normally means rejection."

I am nervous about registering for my first class. I'm excited, granted, but really...I feel a TON of pressure. I assumed five years ago that I was done with school. I had had my fill. So for the past five years, I have been able to hold onto the "trophy" of having never made a B on a report card all the way through graduate school without any additional effort. Now, I have a challenge.

I am a wife and a mother. My number one priority is serving my family in a way that is pleasing in His sight, but I am not just going to seminary for the fun of it...I really believe I am meant to do this. I doubt it will be easy, especially with my main focus being on my boys. I believe that God will give me the strength I need to continue on with my good record, but deep down, I am terrified that I won't be at the same level I was after having such a long break and adding my new roles to the mix. And I also hope I'm not in for some grand "lesson" from God on education at my former idea of success' expense as I prepare to begin homeschooling in a few years.

I'm not who I was back then. My view of education really has shifted (atleast when I am thinking about my boys). I'm really not as interested in getting the A out of these classes as I am learning deep truths of God so that I can help people in some way. When I was in college for education, I had professors that looked for certain answers, and I had no problem giving them what they wanted, even if it wasn't exactly what I got from it all, because the ultimate goal was that pretty letter that kept my parents paying for school, got me scholarships, and gave me first choice on where to live on campus. I won't really have that option this time around. I won't be able to "fake" what I learned or fabricate something that He hasn't revealed to me, or at least I have no interest in doing that.

I'm not sure what the future holds. Maybe I'll have the same kind of success I did back then. Maybe I won't. All I know for sure is that I am going to pray with all my might that I learn something I can use and that I won't be so devoted to something that means so little that I miss what He has to say to me through this part of my journey. Because my ultimate goal now isn't that A. It's having a marriage that represents Christ and His church, raising my boys to have an authentic faith in the Lord and exemplify biblical manhood, and helping those that He sends my way where they have need.

But, hey, wouldn't it be nice if I still got A's?

No matter how much we grow, and how far we come, we should always take time to evaluate our hearts. The pressure to make an A is going to be on me with every class I take. It's hard to lay something down that has defined me for so long. It is going to be a challenge to keep my eyes focused on Christ rather than grades, but it is a challenge I am ready to accept. So today, I am laying down any fear I have of letting anyone (including myself) down or having my best in this stage of my life not be "A" worthy. And I am going to pick up the truth that God is with me and has a plan right now for everything He is going to teach me through this journey. I resolve to give my very best to Him. My best as a wife, a mother, and a student.

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

A Lesson from Reba

Shortly after I wrote my A Lesson from the Cosby Show post, I was watching Reba. Reba probably wasn't as popular a show as the Cosby Show, but it ran for YEARS, and it had a lot of really good lessons. Sometimes they were in your face (like their run on the topic of alcoholism), but I am always excited when a single moment really speaks to my marriage or parenting in some way.

In the scene, Brock (Reba's ex husband) is promising to do something with Jake (their son). After Jake leaves the room, Reba scolds him for making big promises that he doesn't keep, and how it affects their child. It hit me how great she handled that.

I am a HUGE believer in every thing we say affects our children. I think it molds how they see themselves and the world around them, even in the baby years. I speak positive things over my sons DAILY. The responsibility I have as a mother is ENORMOUS in that respect. But how many times do we find ourselves in a position where we react to our spouse with the kids right there? And not always with words seasoned by love and grace? I am guilty. My husband and I hit a rough season recently (brought on by absolutely NO time together other than a couple hours while the boys were up). With no one on one time and tensions high from a deprived relationship, I had many a day that I felt guilty in how I had reacted to something. I could see recognition hit my oldest son's face one day, and I vowed to stop the madness. Luckily, our relationship isn't quite so deprived now that things are balancing out, but I'm challenged on occassion in how I respond to things.

Reba did the right thing in waiting until Jake left the room. I'm not saying that you should never have disagreements with your spouse in front of your child. It is good for them to learn how to handle conflict in a responsible manner, but when your top is about to blow, let it go for a minute, so you can reach a point where you CAN handle it responsibly. Who knows how many times if I had waited, the whole thing would have been forgotten by the time my little ankle biters weren't around (it is really hard to stay mad at my man for just about anything, especially with how hard he tries to do the right thing). But either way, that one scene plays in my head now. I like a visual to go with my lessons. They are a little easier to remember.

Kids are sponges...let love and grace and hope and God's truth saturate them. That way they are so full that all that yucky stuff can't be soaked up so easily.

If you have your own strategies for how to responsibly handle conflict with your spouse, feel free to comment below!

When Challenges Go Unmet

If you are like me, you probably are passionate about a handful of different things. When those things are left undone, it can drain you. This Be My Valentine challenge has done that to me. I was sooo excited to participate. Week one was easy. Week two...not so much. Week three is almost over, and Lord knows I just want to completely throw in the towel.

The challenge for week two was to be creative in our praise. There were so many great ideas in Courtney at WomenLivingWell's post. In fact, there were so many that I wanted to do that I didn't do any. Ugh. I thought about it probably every day for the last two weeks. (This week's challenge was to kiss my hubby like I mean it.) I am a creative type. I LOVE things like this, but two weeks later and still nothing.

I hope I am not alone in this. I have the biggest heart and intentions when it comes to things like this. My husband doesn't even know about the challenge, yet I feel like I have let him down. Which brings me to the fact that I pretty much feel like I am a let down.

I asked my husband last night what he thought my biggest fault was. I really wanted to know. You know what he said? I lack the confidence to pursue my dreams. I tear up every time I think about that. He said it wasn't a really bad thing, but that I have things I want to do but I end up saying it's a stupid idea or I'm not going to do it. He, unfortunately, is right. I would have never thought of it as a lack of confidence. I have always thought of myself as very confident. But there we have it.

Now to the biggest question: how do I change this about myself? I never want to step out of God's will, but oftentimes, I determine that God's will isn't just a natural extension of what I am passionate about. It always seems like I need to do more...be more...or just put a hold on that thought.

If you can relate, please join me in prayer (because really that is the only thing we can do at this point, right?):
Lord, I am so passionate about so many things. I believe you have impressed those things on my heart, but I am unsure of how much of these passions to persue. I want to remain in your will and become balanced (not balanced in the worldly sense, but in your good and perfect way). Help me to dream big. Help me to pursue my dreams in ways that are pleasing in your sight...ways that do not hinder my roles in my home as wife and/or mother. Open and close doors for me. But most of all...help me to have a right view of myself...to see myself as You see me. Help me to not fear being a doer of my passions. Give me discernment so that my passions never become idols. May each of my passions in some way bless your Kingdom. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

So now...the Be My Valentine challenge isn't over. The final week starts on Monday, but I'm not going to worry about it. I am, however, going to make my sweetie's Valentine's Day something special. I'm going to make him a card and a dessert that I am sure he is going to rave over. And hopefully, I will have a sweet gift from my boys to their daddy. I will tell my husband how special he is to me and how much I love him EVERYDAY, not because I'm reminded to by a challenge, but because that is actually just my nature. And sometime after Valentine's day, I'm going to revisit those ideas for creative ways to show my husband praise and love because I will want to do something special throughout the year, and I'm always looking for new ideas. But, for now, I think I'm set for this Valentine's Day.

Be My Valentine Challenge...Week One

Last night, something very interesting happened. I got the following text from my husband (who was in the room next to where I was):

I love you Baby. You are like an angel. Thank you for all you do. Love, Adam
 

If you read my introductory post for this Be My Valentine challenge, you might catch the significance. I mentioned a quote that I thought was going to be super important in our lives. At the very end it said that  "Only then does he recognize in her God’s angel of mercy. (JR Miller)” My husband has always been very loving and through most of our married life, I received a note every day. They only stopped once we swapped roles and it was him driving off to work in the mornings. He sure knows how to express himself, but seriously..."You are like an angel." ?!?

So let me let you in on a little of what has happened since starting this challenge.
First off...this weeks instruction is to "Take the Initiative! Look for ways to praise your husband verbally."
I have been praising my husband on Facebook, but I have also spent a lot of time encouraging him face to face. I think praise like "you did really good on ___" is great...but I think that I am learning something new about praise through all of these transitions.

I think when I say things like "I have full confidence that you are going to do a wonderful job at your store because you love people and have integrity," that it signifies praise in his past work while letting him know I am secure in our future. I can't have full confidence if he isn't doing good already, right? The thing about speaking words about your husband is that it becomes something to fall back on in trying times. When he makes a mistake, I can remember that he is a good-willed man...he isn't trying to do something that might hurt me.

So I think praising my man should center around the content of his character. That is what is most important. Circumstances are just that...circumstantial. He might be in a place where his character is rewarded. He might be in a place that his character causes him trouble (it's not like the world always likes dealing with men of integrity). If I can continue to focus on his character, it will change my perspectives and give so many more opportunities for real praise.

I'm trying to put action with my praises as well. The things I praise my husband for, I am thankful for. Since I am so thankful, I want to show him more. So I do a lot more to make his life easier and make him feel special. Getting up this week to fix his breakfast since the store hasn't opened yet was a minor sacrifice with a major significance for my husband. He has had the energy to get through the day, and he gets some extra time with his wife. We have shared wonderful conversations, and for some reason it feels a lot more like when we were dating in the mornings than at night after the boys go to bed.

So that simple statement "You are like an angel" meant a whole lot to me. It felt like God's stamp on our envelope. He could have said anything...but I was looking to be my husband's "angel of mercy" during this time. Glad to know that I am my husband's angel.

...and looking forward to many more opportunities to encourage and praise my sweet man.

Be My Valentine Challenge

Well...it's time for another WomenLivingWell challenge. I am very excited! This particular challenge is coming at a VERY good time in my life. Next week, my husband is finally supposed to be able to step foot in HIS store. We have been in the process of getting to this point since last April. We have sacrificed and been patient and trusted in the Lord's will in regard to what store he would get, and now it is becoming official. He should have a few days before the store opens to prepare. My man will officially be running a Waffle House. His success will determine our livelihood. What pressure!

I'm not always the best at communicating my love for my husband...sometimes I'm not even that great at feeling it. :( That is a shame, too, because I'm convinced that I'm very blessed to have him by my side. My husband is one of the four best things that have ever happened to me (Christ and my two sons are the others). He is so loving toward me. He always tries to do the right thing. He knows how to express his love for me. I have it made...but I fall short so many times in reciprocating that feeling.

That's why I am super excited for the "Be My Valentine" challenge.

Courtney shared a quote that I plan to post where I can see it...

JR Miller writes “So it is in the dark hours of a man’s life, when burdens press, when sorrows weigh like mountains upon his soul, when adversities have left him crushed and broken, or when he is in the midst of fierce struggles which try the strength of every fibre of his manhood, that all the radiance and glory of a true wife’s strengthful love shine out before his eyes. Only then does he recognize in her God’s angel of mercy.”
 

I have a feeling that my husband is about to enter into one of the most intense times in his life. Being a manager trainee (and even relief managing) is nothing like opening a brand new store on his own. This is something that we were told at the very beginning of our journey would never happen...no new managers get new stores. It will be a lot to handle.

The truth is...HE NEEDS ME. 

He needs me to show him love and grace and be a pillar of strength for him. He needs me to have faith in him. He needs me to be a reminder that the Lord brought us this store...not a reminder of uncertainty. He needs his wife in ways he probably never has before. So I'm happy that this focused challenge is available to me. I'll be blogging along my journey.

This upcoming week's challenge is as follows:

Week 1 January 21st - Look for ways to praise your husband verbally. Praise him in front of the kids, friends, family, co-workers, on facebook, tweet it – get praise out anyway you can! Try to mention something noteworthy he has done – in his role as provider, father, husband, lover, or friend. If the thought of trying to come up with one terrifies you, then pray right now that God will give you new eyes to see your husband as God does. Then open your mouth and say something kind and uplifting to your husband today and tomorrow and the next day until Valentine’s Day arrives!

 

I hope you join me as I focus on lifting my husband up!
I took a few seconds to send my husband a text saying that I just wanted him to know that I believe in him. It was something small, but who knows the impact it had other than the "Thanks, Baby" I got back?

Eph 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.