When Challenges Go Unmet

If you are like me, you probably are passionate about a handful of different things. When those things are left undone, it can drain you. This Be My Valentine challenge has done that to me. I was sooo excited to participate. Week one was easy. Week two...not so much. Week three is almost over, and Lord knows I just want to completely throw in the towel.

The challenge for week two was to be creative in our praise. There were so many great ideas in Courtney at WomenLivingWell's post. In fact, there were so many that I wanted to do that I didn't do any. Ugh. I thought about it probably every day for the last two weeks. (This week's challenge was to kiss my hubby like I mean it.) I am a creative type. I LOVE things like this, but two weeks later and still nothing.

I hope I am not alone in this. I have the biggest heart and intentions when it comes to things like this. My husband doesn't even know about the challenge, yet I feel like I have let him down. Which brings me to the fact that I pretty much feel like I am a let down.

I asked my husband last night what he thought my biggest fault was. I really wanted to know. You know what he said? I lack the confidence to pursue my dreams. I tear up every time I think about that. He said it wasn't a really bad thing, but that I have things I want to do but I end up saying it's a stupid idea or I'm not going to do it. He, unfortunately, is right. I would have never thought of it as a lack of confidence. I have always thought of myself as very confident. But there we have it.

Now to the biggest question: how do I change this about myself? I never want to step out of God's will, but oftentimes, I determine that God's will isn't just a natural extension of what I am passionate about. It always seems like I need to do more...be more...or just put a hold on that thought.

If you can relate, please join me in prayer (because really that is the only thing we can do at this point, right?):
Lord, I am so passionate about so many things. I believe you have impressed those things on my heart, but I am unsure of how much of these passions to persue. I want to remain in your will and become balanced (not balanced in the worldly sense, but in your good and perfect way). Help me to dream big. Help me to pursue my dreams in ways that are pleasing in your sight...ways that do not hinder my roles in my home as wife and/or mother. Open and close doors for me. But most of all...help me to have a right view of myself...to see myself as You see me. Help me to not fear being a doer of my passions. Give me discernment so that my passions never become idols. May each of my passions in some way bless your Kingdom. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

So now...the Be My Valentine challenge isn't over. The final week starts on Monday, but I'm not going to worry about it. I am, however, going to make my sweetie's Valentine's Day something special. I'm going to make him a card and a dessert that I am sure he is going to rave over. And hopefully, I will have a sweet gift from my boys to their daddy. I will tell my husband how special he is to me and how much I love him EVERYDAY, not because I'm reminded to by a challenge, but because that is actually just my nature. And sometime after Valentine's day, I'm going to revisit those ideas for creative ways to show my husband praise and love because I will want to do something special throughout the year, and I'm always looking for new ideas. But, for now, I think I'm set for this Valentine's Day.

Be My Valentine Challenge...Week One

Last night, something very interesting happened. I got the following text from my husband (who was in the room next to where I was):

I love you Baby. You are like an angel. Thank you for all you do. Love, Adam
 

If you read my introductory post for this Be My Valentine challenge, you might catch the significance. I mentioned a quote that I thought was going to be super important in our lives. At the very end it said that  "Only then does he recognize in her God’s angel of mercy. (JR Miller)” My husband has always been very loving and through most of our married life, I received a note every day. They only stopped once we swapped roles and it was him driving off to work in the mornings. He sure knows how to express himself, but seriously..."You are like an angel." ?!?

So let me let you in on a little of what has happened since starting this challenge.
First off...this weeks instruction is to "Take the Initiative! Look for ways to praise your husband verbally."
I have been praising my husband on Facebook, but I have also spent a lot of time encouraging him face to face. I think praise like "you did really good on ___" is great...but I think that I am learning something new about praise through all of these transitions.

I think when I say things like "I have full confidence that you are going to do a wonderful job at your store because you love people and have integrity," that it signifies praise in his past work while letting him know I am secure in our future. I can't have full confidence if he isn't doing good already, right? The thing about speaking words about your husband is that it becomes something to fall back on in trying times. When he makes a mistake, I can remember that he is a good-willed man...he isn't trying to do something that might hurt me.

So I think praising my man should center around the content of his character. That is what is most important. Circumstances are just that...circumstantial. He might be in a place where his character is rewarded. He might be in a place that his character causes him trouble (it's not like the world always likes dealing with men of integrity). If I can continue to focus on his character, it will change my perspectives and give so many more opportunities for real praise.

I'm trying to put action with my praises as well. The things I praise my husband for, I am thankful for. Since I am so thankful, I want to show him more. So I do a lot more to make his life easier and make him feel special. Getting up this week to fix his breakfast since the store hasn't opened yet was a minor sacrifice with a major significance for my husband. He has had the energy to get through the day, and he gets some extra time with his wife. We have shared wonderful conversations, and for some reason it feels a lot more like when we were dating in the mornings than at night after the boys go to bed.

So that simple statement "You are like an angel" meant a whole lot to me. It felt like God's stamp on our envelope. He could have said anything...but I was looking to be my husband's "angel of mercy" during this time. Glad to know that I am my husband's angel.

...and looking forward to many more opportunities to encourage and praise my sweet man.

Be My Valentine Challenge

Well...it's time for another WomenLivingWell challenge. I am very excited! This particular challenge is coming at a VERY good time in my life. Next week, my husband is finally supposed to be able to step foot in HIS store. We have been in the process of getting to this point since last April. We have sacrificed and been patient and trusted in the Lord's will in regard to what store he would get, and now it is becoming official. He should have a few days before the store opens to prepare. My man will officially be running a Waffle House. His success will determine our livelihood. What pressure!

I'm not always the best at communicating my love for my husband...sometimes I'm not even that great at feeling it. :( That is a shame, too, because I'm convinced that I'm very blessed to have him by my side. My husband is one of the four best things that have ever happened to me (Christ and my two sons are the others). He is so loving toward me. He always tries to do the right thing. He knows how to express his love for me. I have it made...but I fall short so many times in reciprocating that feeling.

That's why I am super excited for the "Be My Valentine" challenge.

Courtney shared a quote that I plan to post where I can see it...

JR Miller writes “So it is in the dark hours of a man’s life, when burdens press, when sorrows weigh like mountains upon his soul, when adversities have left him crushed and broken, or when he is in the midst of fierce struggles which try the strength of every fibre of his manhood, that all the radiance and glory of a true wife’s strengthful love shine out before his eyes. Only then does he recognize in her God’s angel of mercy.”
 

I have a feeling that my husband is about to enter into one of the most intense times in his life. Being a manager trainee (and even relief managing) is nothing like opening a brand new store on his own. This is something that we were told at the very beginning of our journey would never happen...no new managers get new stores. It will be a lot to handle.

The truth is...HE NEEDS ME. 

He needs me to show him love and grace and be a pillar of strength for him. He needs me to have faith in him. He needs me to be a reminder that the Lord brought us this store...not a reminder of uncertainty. He needs his wife in ways he probably never has before. So I'm happy that this focused challenge is available to me. I'll be blogging along my journey.

This upcoming week's challenge is as follows:

Week 1 January 21st - Look for ways to praise your husband verbally. Praise him in front of the kids, friends, family, co-workers, on facebook, tweet it – get praise out anyway you can! Try to mention something noteworthy he has done – in his role as provider, father, husband, lover, or friend. If the thought of trying to come up with one terrifies you, then pray right now that God will give you new eyes to see your husband as God does. Then open your mouth and say something kind and uplifting to your husband today and tomorrow and the next day until Valentine’s Day arrives!

 

I hope you join me as I focus on lifting my husband up!
I took a few seconds to send my husband a text saying that I just wanted him to know that I believe in him. It was something small, but who knows the impact it had other than the "Thanks, Baby" I got back?

Eph 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.